Monday, January 28, 2013

My Zero Dark Thirty experience.

So, last night I went to see Zero Dark Thirty. It was something I've been meaning to do for a while now,  and for whatever reason I just got around to it last night.

I had heard from everyone it was absolutely wonderful, brilliant, etc. And I agree. It was pretty damn good. I loved the fact that it was more spy/espionage thriller than action thriller, and I loved the fact that it keeps relatively quiet until the last 30 minutes, when it gut punches you so hard that it leaves you breathless.

Two things happened inside of the theater over the course of the film, though. Both of them were either due to me, or because of me.

I pride myself on my movie etiquette. I'm kind of a movie buff and I love seeing movies in the theater, and when it's a movie as impressive and important as Zero Dark Thirty, I like to stay out of it and let the movie do the work. No comments about who's doing what, no "yeah!" from the audience when Bin Laden gets shot, nothing like that.

But I broke the rules twice last night.

The first happened when a group of people, presumably around my age, decided to be douche bags. Two guys, one girl. There's a clip in the film of a speech President Obama made regarding the use of torture by the United States and how he wouldn't allow it anymore. This was pertinent for the film, which up to that point had been showing some pretty intense torture scenes.

The girl in the group behind me said, "I fucking hate that piece of shit," to which her two boyfriends (probably cousins) guffawed. I turned around, glared, and silently made it known that I'm trying to watch the movie.

Seconds later, another brief showing of President Obama. The girl made a similar quip. At this point, I broke etiquette, because I had no idea how many more times they were going to show Obama onscreen. I turned around and told her that no one in this theater cares about her idiotic opinion, and that it would be nice of her to kindly shut up so the rest of us could watch the film and understand the intricacies of what is happening.

I turned back around and sat. The people beside and in front of me looked at me and smiled, and as we were walking out, one of them thanked me. The group behind me glared, but I had mob mentality on my side, so I wasn't worried.

The SECOND time was all on me. Well, maybe not all on me. It has to be partially blamed on the casting department for ZD30.


Andy Dwyer is probably the biggest, most hilarious doofus on TV right now. The second I saw him, I burst out laughing. He was playing this hugely important part as deadly Navy SEAL, and all I could think about was when he made Ron Swanson orgasm by rubbing his foot.

It took me about two seconds to realize my laughter was not shared by anyone in the theater, and another two or three seconds to stifle my laughter into quiet giggles, which resumed for at least another 10 seconds.

So that's it. I sat in front of some idiots who couldn't keep their politics out of one of the most uniting American events in the history of this country, and I couldn't stop laughing at the fact that a guy who broke both of his legs falling into a big hole was playing a Navy SEAL who killed Osama bin Laden.

Solid Night at the movies.

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