Friday, February 15, 2013

How to boil an egg.

I just read an entire blog post detailing, at great length, how to boil an egg.

There are three primary problems with a post of that nature.

1 - Boiled eggs are fucking disgusting.
2 - Few foods actually have the directions of how to cook it entirely in the name. Boil. Egg. Done. If you fuck that up, I think you have bigger problems. Like how to count to 10.
3 - Of all of the egg preparations that you could pick (over-easy, sunny-side up, scrambled, deviled, poached, omelet, etc.), you choose to BOIL THE EGG? It's the easiest preparation and the grossest way to eat them!

Seriously, they're gross. The white tastes like slippery fat and the yolk is a chalky texture with a taste of nothingness.

The egg is a magical thing. I love eggs. More than I love most people, truthfully. But this was an entire post (lengthy, with video) about how to boil an egg. Just fry it like a normal, fat American and live a little.

I realize now that I have talked about boiled eggs for an entire post as well. Perhaps the master plan was to shock us into spreading the evil of boiled eggs.